Two new additions to the periodic table of elements:
Element Name: WOMANIUM
Symbol: WOW!
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there - unstable element)
Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at almost anything and nothing; and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left waiting. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Loves the new phenomenon generally known as shopping. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!!!
Element Name: MANIUM
Symbol: XY, better known as HEY U
Atomic Weight: (180 plus or minus 50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to excessive usage of elements like food and alcohol, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as younger samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WOW any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source, especially from rear end. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WOW, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
by grace at 
2:53:00 PM
2:53:00 PM
